To Missouri this weekend, to visit Joshua’s family. I was nervous about this, as they are strict Pentecostal and, in addition to the usual worries associated with making a good impression on a beau’s family, I had to worry that I would snap under pressure and start shouting “Darn darn darn!” at the dinner table. This didn’t happen, though I did commit one or two worrying lapses, mostly during a poker game, because I was concentrating on poker. I said “shoot” and “heck” when I lost two particularly good hands, and I made reference to having seen R-rated movies. Also, the television was on in the background, and I accidentally giggled at a condom commercial. I should mention that I am not exaggerating at all – these are all, particularly the R-rated movies, things that Josh’s parents strongly disapprove of.
We met his parents on Friday at Lambert’s, a famous Southern restaurant where they throw rolls at you. Josh and I shared some fried catfish and ribs, which was quite tasty. I also tried some of the fried okra, because I don’t like okra and need to learn to. As of this writing I still find the texture off putting. Josh’s parents are very nice, but extremely formidable. I felt much more comfortable with his younger brother, as he is a lot like Josh.
On Saturday, we went to the Strawberry Festival, a fundraiser for the Christian rehab center Joshua’s dad runs. There wasn’t a lot to the festival, really; we had barbecue sandwiches and strawberry shortcake, then went on a hayride, where we saw a mule jump over a fence and listened to one of the drug addicts tell us about his recovery and dedication to Christ. I found this rather moving, as it was clear that this fellow meant to turn his life around.
The next morning, we went to Pentecostal church, something I had never seen before. Joshua’s family are Assemblies of God, the same denomination as Sarah Palin. They don’t handle snakes, but they do speak in tongues, something I was keen to see. First, though, we went to Sunday school, where a missionary to Papa New Guinea spoke to us about the evils of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Because those are all basically the same thing. That wasn’t really the focus of his talk, more of an aside, but the rest involved a very speedy reading of several Bible passages, which I didn’t entirely follow.
Pentecostal church services are really intense – people cry and shout out agreement and murmur eerily. There was indeed some speaking in tongues, which when it actually happened I found terrifying and started to cry. Suddenly this man was spouting what sounded like utter gibberish, and then someone else was filled with the Holy Spirit and interpreted in English. Then there was a sermon about how we are all utterly vile and filled with sin. Then we got to go out for lunch.
We were originally supposed to go golfing after church, but it was raining and Joshua’s mom didn’t want to golf in the rain (nor did I) so the menfolk went out and played a few holes or whatever the unit of golf is, and Josh’s mom and I stayed home and took naps, and in my case read Barbara Pym and wrote in my journal. The next morning Joshua and I took 11 quarts of strawberries (4 for me, 7 for our friends) and headed back to Indiana via St Louis. We got to St Louis around lunchtime and went to the arch, where we rode a tiny elevator – more like a cross between a roller coaster car and a space shuttle, but with no windows – to the top. I thought it would be terrifying but it was merely alarming. There are tiny windows on top, but no glass floor or anything really scary. Then we rode down again, had lunch, and went to the Basilica, which was very beautiful. Also I found the Catholicism of it reassuring after my intense brush with Protestantism the day before.
All in all it was an excellent weekend. Fortunately my body behaved itself and I felt almost completely normal. I had to drink tons of water, though, after going to the IU clinic on Friday and learning that I was, once again, as dry as an ancient raisin. It’s irritating to get so dehydrated AGAIN, after needing IV fluids once already. Today I have my second infusion, so it’s time to get back on the roller coaster of awful. Wish me well.
NOTE: Please don’t comment with disparaging comments about Protestantism or religion in general. I will be held responsible for anything you say. Dad, I am talking to you.
